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LAST exchange on "SKEPTIC"

Frances here. It had been a busy week, I could not reply immediately to my freind Carol, and sent her a quick note o that effect. When the flurry of my life calmed, I wrote the following.

Dear Carol,

I printed out your letter so I can more fully address your questions.

So here goes. You ask, "Are you still unconvinced? If not, how have you been reassured?" Let me stop there a moment.

I study personal and family pattern. When I do I can't help but notice how apparently helpless a person is to family habits, acting on them in seemingly unconscious ways. Thus, I look at JK's pattern and his family, then see him driving out to visit an old girlfriend and doubt set in.

I looked at the same matters before I married him and decided they were no longer a threat for this reason and that.

Same situation and different conclusions. Why? Before we married I believed in him as

a truth-teller and in myself that I was seeing the truth of the matter.

So what changed is me. I came back to the place were I was before. I came back to believing in JK and what he says that he loves me and plans to be with me the rest of his life.

Further on the your letter, you ask if I was "direct" with him about my suspicions. In truth, I approached the subject two times during my spell of doubt. In both sessions I told him what I would do if I found out he was not faithful to me: anger, retribution of some kind and no more sex.

Both times he sort of shook his head as if wondering what was I going on about and told me I didn't have to worry.

Anyway, the doubt spell passed. I think it was as much because I came to a "high place" rather than anything JK said or did. I think I may always be plagued with doubt non and then since my mother cheated on my dad ( who either never knew or ignored it) and my first husband cheated on me ( which I never allowed myself to know until after I divorced him).

Doubt is opposite of faith. ( So is worry.) In the end, there is always an element of risk to outcomes. The choice is to suffer or the element of the unknown or not.

Maybe I answered you questions...

Though I can no long find her exact words to quote to you, Carol thanked me for taking time to answer her questions. Here ended our discussion of "skeptic".