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SKEPTIC #2

Here's Frances again: By the next day, I had "regained some sanity" and saw the situation in a different light. I wrote this:


Dear Blog-Readers,

The tale of woe I posted yesterday shows clearly how quickly I can be overcome by aspects of my "victim mentality."

Clearly, my need to be a "smart girl" brings on a dark side that can bring me grief. Somehow I have it in my head that if I am a "smart girl", if I understand a situation well, I can avoid trouble. If I had already met with "trouble" I can also get out of it.

Ha!

I forget that God has a plan for me. I forget that I am doing the best I can in all my endeavors. If I feel angst about a situation it be not because I made a "mistake", not because I was "dumb" but because I am clearly human.

Since I wrote that essay of darkness, I gained my higher self again. I am not sure how, perhaps I had a need to DUMP -- to give the dark girl a voice. All I am aware of is that ( seemingly) I captured my husband's attention over dinner and told him some of my sexual health concerns in the 21st century. I told him that in my single years I had not had sex without first trotting us both to a health clinic for testing.

I mentioned that he was different only because he had been out of the partnering cycles for so long and had no side effects from his earlier "heavy dating".

He took it all in. His only comment was he did not know why I was so worried, "I love you. I plan to spend the rest of my life with you."

In my doubting mode, his words were unconvincing.

So what changed me? I'd tell you if I knew, but I don't.

However it happened, the DARK GIRL is gone.

Praise be!

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Carol replied,
You lost me. What did Jk do or say that caused you to stop doubting?

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